Kakak Bank Suhaila Knowledge Chief

The real issue here is not your mak mertua, it is your husband not standing as a team with you. I learned this the hard way. No matter how you charm the mother in law, if your husband keeps saying "just endure", the problem repeats forever. Sit your husband down, not to complain about his mother, but to say "I need us to be a team. I am not asking you to fight your mum, I am asking you to set gentle boundaries together." Frame it as protecting your marriage, not attacking his family. With the mak mertua herself, I chose to pick my battles, let small things go, but on big things (money, raising kids) I stay firm politely: "Thank you mak, we will consider, but we have decided X." Said with respect but no wavering. Over time she respected me more for having a spine. It got better, but only after my husband finally backed me up.