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Mak mertua interfere in my marriage, husband always take her side
Married 2 years, my mother in law always comment on how I cook, how I raise plan, even how…
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Mak mertua wants to stay with us, wife setuju, I stress. How?
Married 4 years, we stay in a small condo in Cheras. My mother-in-law recently widowed, wife wants her to move in. I love my wife but mak mertua and me always tension over small things. How to handle without hurting marriage?
Anonymous asker ·Asked on 2 hours ago ·502 views ·4 answers
Best Answer
Anonymous contributor Beginner First-hand experience
Bro I been through exact same thing. What saved my marriage was setting clear space boundaries BEFORE she moved in, not after. We agreed mak mertua gets her own room, and we still have our couple time (date night keluar berdua once a week, non-negotiable). Talk to your wife first, get on same team - it should be both of you managing the situation, not you vs her mother. Also, small things tension usually because everyone cramped. If condo too small, consider renting slightly bigger place. Give it 6 months trial, review openly. Now my relationship with MIL actually okay, she jaga my kids somemore. Patience lah.
Cikgu Bahasa Faizal Beginner First-hand experience SPM BM teacher, I guide students on karangan, IPTA application and scholarship apply.
Choose your battles lah bro. The small things - just let go. Is it really worth fighting over how she folds the towels or which channel she watches? I learned to say "yes mak" and move on, my blood pressure much better now. Save your energy for the truly important stuff only.
Cikgu Tuisyen Ganesh Beginner First-hand experience Run tuition centre, I guide on scholarship, matrikulasi vs STPM and course pick strategy.
Make sure your wife also protects you sometimes, not always defend her mother. Communication kena go both ways. If she expects you to sacrifice, she must also stand up for you when mak mertua unreasonable. Talk about this openly.
Anonymous contributor Beginner First-hand experience
She just lost her husband, she probably lonely and grieving. A lot of the tension might be her adjusting too. Try take her out makan sometimes just you two, build the relationship. Kindness melts a lot of friction. My FIL stayed with us and once I stopped seeing him as intruder and more as family, everything changed.
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